


Anno Dilectionem

by portoftheartistasayoungc



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Diabetes, Experimental Style, F/F, Fluff, Geometry, Heartbreak, Hitchcock, Sister-Sister Relationship, Smut, Summer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3854065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portoftheartistasayoungc/pseuds/portoftheartistasayoungc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is a mess.  Costia broke her heart and for the first time in her life, she feels like she is drifting and lost.  She decides to make an effort, albeit a misguided one, to change the things that Costia didn't like about her and ends up falling in to bed with Clarke Griffin.  It might be a love story, but first Lexa has to learn how to love herself again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lady Vanishes

**Author's Note:**

> (or, how to define a woman in numbers and lines when she is the edge of a knife)
> 
> In this fic I will use two year designators. BC, which means Before Clark, and Anno Dilectionem which is Latin for In the Year of Our Love (or so Google translator told me...). BC counts down to when Lexa meets Clarke, AD counts up after.
> 
> Clarke will not appear until the 2nd chapter, but she will be present from that point forward.
> 
> The story starts off extremely angsty, but gets lighter and happier as it goes.

[proof one – 7 BC]

Lexa was good at math. 

Scratch that.

Lexa was good at geometry. 

She had struggled more than she would ever admit with Pre-Algebra in 8th grade, but geometry was a completely different animal.  When she had taken the class her freshman year of high school, everything had just made so much _sense._ It had made so much sense, in fact, that Lexa had suspicions that her parents had adopted her, not from Russia, as they claimed, but a land where people spoke to each other only in geometric proofs. There was something so inherently strategic about geometry and when Lexa was handed a proof to complete, it almost felt like a battle plan she had to carefully construct to completion, each step informing the next until every point and line and angle was defined and defeated.

After that one blissful year of understanding, however, she was back, literally: at the back of the class, struggling with every little thing her Algebra teacher scrawled on the board.  But it was enough, that year of geometric thinking; it gave her a way of wrapping her head around the things that happened to her, the things she experienced in life.  From that point on, Lexa lived by properties and proofs. She learned to take what was given.

* * *

[proof two – 3 BC]

Lexa met Costia her second week of college. She was walking home from dinner one night when it started to rain.  Lexa was close to her dorm, so she decided to make a run for it, despite the fact that she was wearing a flimsy pair of plastic flip-flops. On the sidewalk in front of her building, Lexa slipped and fell right on her ass. 

Lying there on the wet concrete, Lexa realized that someone close by was laughing.  She turned her head just enough to see a girl, standing beneath the overhang of her dormitory’s entrance.  Even in her near-hysterical state brought on by witnessing Lexa’s fall, Costia was beautiful. 

Lexa had no idea who she was then, of course, but she was pretty enough to make Lexa feel like she might die of embarrassment. She was sure she was red as a tomato, at least. 

When Costia had finally pulled herself together and stopped laughing, she made her way over to Lexa, who had decided to lay still and play dead, and offered her a hand getting up. 

Lexa refused her help and glared her most fearsome glare at the girl before she hurried inside to repair what was left of her dignity.

* * *

[proof three – 3 BC]

The second time Lexa met Costia, it was in her first Intro to Lit class during her second term at Crew College.

Costia sat down next to her and said, “It’s nice to see you vertical for a change.”

Lexa’s face burned with embarrassment. She couldn’t believe that, 5 months later, this girl still remembered her fall.  She was about to just switch seats, but then Costia spoke again. 

“You’re really cute when you blush.”

Lexa turned to meet the girl’s eyes and found something there.  It was like a line, waiting to be crossed, stretching like a cat in the sunshine.  She introduced herself and said, “I’m not vertical. I’m at more of a 120-degree angle, actually.”

It didn’t take long after that for Lexa to ask Costia if she would like to study with her sometime.  When they met up in the library two days later it didn’t take Costia long to drag Lexa into the dusty, unused stacks of old mathematics texts and kiss her like no one else ever had before.

* * *

[proof four – 3 BC]

There were two types of people in the world: people who ran and people who walked; people who fell and people who laughed; people who solved for x and people who _were_ the x.

Lexa was one kind of person and Costia was another. They were complimentary angles. They slept like spoons. They loved like legends and maps. They folded in on themselves and into each other, measuring miles between mountain ranges and cities, naming the previously uncharted territories.  When Lexa added it all up, everything about their relationship was right. She had nearly two years of evidence before things started to unravel.

* * *

[proof five – 2 BC]

Lexa’s favorite book was _Lord of the Flies._

Costia’s favorite book was _The Princess Bride._

One of these is a fiction.  The other is a lie inside of a lie.

It should not have surprised Lexa so much to discover that Costia loved it because it was a story that was made up of, as the author so eloquently put it, just the “good parts.”

But Lexa loved Costia.  And they were only 20.  So she put all her trust in the girl and whispered things like “forever” before either of them had a concept of what words like that meant.

* * *

[proof six – 12 BC]

The phone was ringing persistently in its cradle on the wall of the kitchen.  It was lime green and had a long coiled cord that tied it in place.  It had been there when the Woods’ had bought the house and moved in the year before they adopted Lexa. Every time it rang, Lois would think to herself how they really needed to replace it. But it was one of those things that kept getting pushed to the back of her mind. 7 years had passed and it was still that same telephone from the 1970s that hung in her otherwise updated kitchen. 

Lois excused herself from her client, Mr. Everard, explaining that the only people who had their house number, rather than her business line, was her daughters’ schools.  He smiled understandingly and assured her that if something was wrong, he wouldn’t mind rescheduling their therapy session.

“Hello?” Lois answered on the fifth ring.

“Hello, Mrs. Woods?” a man’s voice asked.

“Yes, this is she,” Lois responded.

“This is Don Simpkins, the principal at Maple Grove Elementary.”

“Is Lexa alright?” Lois asked, growing concerned at the man’s grave tone.

“Yes, she’s fine, but I’m afraid she has seriously injured another one of our students,” Simpkins explained. “Can you come down to the school so we can discuss what happened in person?”

Two hours later, a newly suspended Lexa was curled moodily in the front seat of the car as Lois drove them home.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, young lady.  Your father is going to be very disappointed in you when he gets home tonight.  And _you_ are going to be the one to tell him what you did,” Lois fumed.

“Mom, Elloit lifted up Bianca’s skirt! The whole class saw her underwear and it made her cry! I had to do _something!”_ Lexa retorted.  She didn’t understand why her mother didn’t get it.

“You broke his arm, Alexandra! I don’t care _what_ that boy did! You cannot just dole out punishments as you see fit.  That’s not how the world works.  It is not okay for you to hurt another person.  You should have told your teacher what happened and let her take care of it.”

"The teachers never do anything about things like that! Mrs. Eastman would've made him sit on the wall at recess for 5 minutes. That's it," Lexa huffed, the injustice of it all making her blood boil. 

"Then you should have told your father or I and we would have made sure it was addressed correctly. It is never ever acceptable to hurt someone the way you did today, Lexa. Do I make myself clear?"

Lexa knew a losing battle when she saw one. She always did. 

"Yes ma'am," she answered her mother quietly. 

She still felt sure in her heart that she had given Elliot exactly what he deserved, no matter what he mother said. Lexa knew he would never flip another girl's skirt and that was victory enough for her. 

“Where did you even learn how to do something like that?” Lois fumed, shaking her head in exasperation. “Was it something you saw on television? That poor boy…”

She was met with only silence from her daughter.

“Alexandra,” Lois warned.  Her tone demanded an answer.

“I saw it on a movie,” Lexa stated firmly.

“Well, that’s just as well. You’re grounded from any tv or movies for the foreseeable future.”

Lexa held her face firm and expressionless as she received her punishment.  She had been expecting it.  She would not show any weakness.

* * *

[proof seven – 2 BC]

Some behaviors can never truly be eradicated. They can only be redirected.

* * *

[proof eight – 1 BC]

When Costia made her cry, she knew it wasn't  _Costia’s_ fault.  Costia was wonderful- carefree, bright, vivacious.

Lexa had been too intense, too driven.  She didn't let her hair down enough—quite literally, it was always pulled back into a flawless braid. She didn't have enough fun. She never wanted to drink or smoke.  She hated rap music.  She had driven Costia away with her unyielding nature and her seriousness.  She had turned down the parties in favor of a night at the library too many times. 

Costia didn't say any of this when she broke it off with Lexa.  She told Lexa they had grown apart, that she wanted to spend the rest of their time in college having different experiences, meeting new people.  "Being with other people" was implied. 

It was Lexa's fault that things had ended.

This was what Lexa told herself because she couldn't stand the thought that maybe Costia just didn't love her anymore.  Or, even worse, that Costia wasn't her "one," that they weren't actually meant to be. 

But the fact was that the line she had felt connecting their two points was now abandoned on one end, and it was moving steadily away from her body and continuing on forever with no destination to define its length.

* * *

[proof nine – 1 BC]

She couldn't bring herself to go home when the school year ended, so she applied with student housing to stay over the summer.

Lexa told her parents she wanted to stay at school for the summer and work. 

The truth was she couldn't bear her family's sympathy. 

It had been 5 months already and she still hadn’t been able to tell them that Costia had broken up with her.

* * *

[proof ten – 1 BC]

Every day of the summer was a bite, a building pressure that broke the skin. 

Lexa wasn't trying that hard to get a job.  She inquired in a few of the shops downtown and put in an application at the grocery store, but didn't follow up with any of them.  Her money was running out and she didn't even care.  She spent most days watching movies she had checked out from the public library and wondering if anyone would notice if she disappeared. When she had to eat, she bought Poptarts, loaves of bread and peanut butter, or cans of soup from the Dollar General.  Her roommate from the school year had left her a bunch of things she didn't feel like carting home with her: half full bottles of shampoo, some body wash she hadn't liked, her Sex and the City DVDs. 

Lexa had gotten drunk a few times, but she was trying not to.  She was trying to keep it together. She thought her hardworking was finally going to pay off, too, when one afternoon, the screen of her phone lit up with Costia's name. Lexa couldn't help but get her hopes up in the instance she saw the girl’s name that maybe, just maybe Costia had realized she wanted Lexa back.  Maybe this horrible drifting was over.  

It was a text message, but all it said was, "I'd like to talk to you if you aren't busy." 

Lexa called her immediately. 

"Hey Lex, how are you?" 

God, her voice hurt Lexa so good. 

"I'm doing well, Costia, thank you for asking." This wasn't true, but she didn't want Costia's pity. Especially when she was reaching out and reestablishing contact between them. 

"I'm really glad to hear that," Costia sighed. She sounded relieved, Lexa noted.

"Are you well?" Lexa asked. 

"I'm really good," Costia said, a familiar happiness coating her words and sending Lexa's stomach into a tailspin. "That's kind of why I called, Lex..."

There was a hesitancy in her words now. Lexa held her breath.

"I met someone. Her name is Maggie. We're, you know, together now. I just didn't want you to have to hear it from someone else, Lex. From one of our mutual friends. I wanted to be the one to tell you.” 

It felt like a drum was pounding in Lexa's head. Tears were streaming down her face. 

"That was very thoughtful of you," Lexa replied, her voice miraculously steady. "Thank you for letting me know."

"Of course, Lex," Costia said.

"Good bye, then," Lexa said, a noticeable strain in her words now. 

"Oh...bye."

Lexa hung up, grabbed her emergency credit card, and set off for the liquor store. 

She just _couldn’t_ anymore.

* * *

[proof eleven – 1 BC]

"This is Lexa Woods. I am unavailable at the present. Please leave a message and I will return your call promptly. Thank you."  
  
"Hey Lexie, it's your old man. Haven't heard from you in awhile. I hope you didn't get sucked into one of those video games you play. Tell Costia hello from your mom and me. Love you pumpkin."

~

"This is Lexa Woods. I am unavailable at the present. Please leave a message and I will return your call promptly. Thank you."  
  
"Hi sweetie, it's Mom. Listen, when you get a chance, give us a call back. I'm sure you're busy trying to find a job, but just a quick call is fine. You know how we worry. We love you, honey."

 ~

"This is Lexa Woods. I am unavailable at the present. Please leave a message and I will return your call promptly. Thank you."

  
"Lexa, this is stupid. Pick up your fucking phone.  Mom and Dad are worried. So if you don't want them to call your little girlfriend, you should grow a soul and call them back."

* * *

[proof twelve – 13 BC]

For Lexa, freedom was bare feet and running wild in the woods outside of her house. 

That’s why summer was her favorite season – there was nothing stopping her from rushing out the door after breakfast, the dogs at her heels, and climbing trees and exploring until her mother called her home for lunch.

Really there was only one thing Lexa adored more than playing barefoot in the woods by herself, and that was doing it with her big sister.  Anya was five years older than her, though, and she’d just turned 13 and apparently that meant she had better things she could be doing than running around with Lexa.  

It wasn’t that Anya necessarily avoided her, but she didn’t seek out her company either.  She was always in her room with the door shut lately.  Lexa was trying not to take it too personally. Her mom had said something about growing pains and being a teenager.  Whatever all that meant, Lexa hoped that Anya would get over it soon so they could start having fun together again. 

This is why Lexa was overjoyed one sunny afternoon when Anya showed up beside the creek while she was tying a new rope to a branch of the large sycamore tree they used to cross the creek.  The last rope had snapped dramatically mid-swing the week before resulting in some scraped knees when Lexa had just managed to land on the opposite bank and avoid the water.  She was rather proud of herself for the feat and had acted the whole thing out for Anya when she got home that night. 

“Anya! Do you want to swing with me? I just finished tying the new rope,” Lexa said, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her sister. “I tied it like the last one, the way you showed me.”

“Perhaps tomorrow,” Anya said, smiling up at her younger sister.  “Come down here for now.  We have things to discuss.”

There was a familiar gleam in Anya’s eye that Lexa hadn’t seen all summer, making her heart flare up with joy.  Maybe she hadn’t lost her co-conspirator and best friend, after all. 

Once she was back down on the ground again, Lexa looked up at Anya with large, adoring green eyes, and asked, “What are we doing?”

“As you know, Lexa, the summer is half over, and when school starts again in the fall, I’ll be starting middle school. We won’t be in the same school anymore,” Anya explained, pacing back and forth in front of Lexa like a general.

“Yeah, I know,” Lexa replied sadly.  “It’s going to be strange not having you there.”

“I won’t be around anymore to help you if someone picks on you.  You’ll be on your own,” Anya went on.  “I can’t have anyone thinking my sister is weak.”

“I’m pretty tough,” Lexa said defiantly. “I can handle myself.”

“Yes,” Anya agreed, pride sparking behind her eyes as she surveyed her sister.  “You are tough.  But there are still some things I need to teach you.”

Lexa’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. Anya was going to teach her things and Anya, well, she knew _all the best things._ “What? What are you going to teach me?”

“I’m going to teach you how to fight and how to curse,” Anya stated matter of factly. “And maybe a few other things.”

“Oh, thank you!” Lexa cried, rushing forward to throw her arms around her sister. 

Anya indulged her for a moment before grabbing her by the shoulders and holding her out at arms length.  “Alright, that’s enough.  Lesson one: Fuck.”

Lexa lips curled up in the ghost of a smile as she listen to Anya tell her how to best to use the curse word ‘fuck.’ Yeah, her sister was _definitely_ the coolest person alive. 

* * *

[proof thirteen – 1 BC]

Every day was a bite, a building pressure that broke the skin.

Lexa had been drunk for…five days in row?

She’d lost count.  She wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was.

She spent most of the mornings hung over, sometimes puking, sometimes just suffering through a pounding headache. When that wore off in the mid-afternoon, the thoughts of Costia came back – of her tangled in bed with another woman, laughing and kissing and –

Lexa could not bear the images.  She burst from her apartment like a caged animal as soon as the sun set each day. 

Every night was a bruise, long purples lines and jaw tunnels. Lexa wandered in those tunnel hours, endless loops that dipped and rose again along the edges of the her world.  She walked for hours on the dark sidewalks that lined the campus, trying desperately to exhaust her mind.  And when that inevitably failed, she drank.

It was a circle, a perfect ring of teeth, every day. Lexa could have worked out its circumference if only she were sober.

* * *

[proof fourteen – 1 BC]

Someone was slamming a ladder down on Lexa’s head. Her hair hadn’t been braided for over a week and she wondered vaguely if Costia would like her more like this. She wasn’t sure where her phone was.  Dim, yellow light was filtering in perfect lines through the blinds on her apartment window and across her closed eyelids. 

Bleary-eyed, she looked down her body and saw a large cut across one of her legs.  A very muddy memory came back to her of her own hand slipping when she was shaving her legs in the shower the night before, a stream of red flowing down the drain. 

The ladder came down again, harder this time, one rung after another, crashing against her skull.  Everything was breaking over her.

Bang. Bang. Bang. 

Lexa didn’t think she could move. The thought struck her when she was already walking over to the door, which someone was hammering their fist on. Her brain was about three feet behind her, so she paused in the middle of the living room, swaying slightly, and let it catch up to her body. Once she was sure it was securely lodged inside her head again, Lexa stumbled on towards the door.

The voice shouting her name was familiar. She was going to be in so much trouble. 

Finally, Lexa managed to locate the handle of her front door.  She turned and pulled at it for what felt like a year before she realized it was locked. Everything was so hard to do. Her hands slid around on the wood until she felt the deadbolt.  Lexa turned it and felt the door being pushed open just as she blacked out completely, her body slumping onto the floor.

* * *

[proof fifteen – 1 BC]

Lois and Gus were just finishing dinner when the phone rang.  They both froze and looked at it.  It hadn’t rung in years, not since everyone in the family had gotten cell phones.

Lois got up and lifted the lime green receiver from its cradle. 

“Hello?” she asked, unable to shake the feeling of dread that had settled in her stomach.

“Mom, it’s me,” the voice on the other end said.

“Oh, Anya, “ Lois sighed in relief, her hand pressing against her heart at the sound of her oldest daughter’s voice. “You scared us half to death calling the house phone. Is everything alright?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not calling from my cell and the house phone is the only one I still have memorized. I’m in the hospital with Lexa. She’s going to be fine, so please don’t panic. I decided to stop by the campus and check on her since she wasn’t returning any of our calls.”

“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Lois gasped, her eyes falling on her husband who stood to join her at the telephone, grasping her hand in his own.

“She has alcohol poisoning and pretty bad cut on her leg. She’s not…awake yet.  I’ll call you again when she is. The doctor said she would be fine, but I’m going to kill her when she comes around.”

* * *

[proof sixteen – 1 BC]

“You scared the shit out of me.  You are such a petulant child.”

The words pierced through into Lexa’s consciousness, snagging against her edges and pulling her up to the surface once more.

“Anya, please don’t yell,” Lexa mumbled. Her throat felt like it had been renovated and then painted the wrong color.

Anya chuckled dryly.  “I’m not.”

“Why are you here, exactly?” Lexa asked, her brow wrinkling in pain.

“Well, my dear sister, none of us had heard from you for over a week, so I thought I’d drop by and check on you. Good thing I did,” Anya said, her superior tone almost too much for Lexa to take.

“I was fine.  I am fine.”

“Right.  Which is why you passed out against the door before you could even say hello to me,” Anya quipped.

“So I was a little drunk. Big deal.”

“You were more than ‘a little drunk.’ The doctor told me your blood alcohol level was at .30! Your girlfriend breaking up with you is not an excuse for you to drink yourself to death, Lexa.”

Lexa’s head swung around to look at her sister, the motion sending a wave of nausea and dizziness crashing over her. “How do you…know about that?” Lexa asked once the room had righted itself again.

“I called her,” Anya said, her eyes softening slightly as she took in her sister’s obvious pain.  “I was worried about you. I thought she might be with you when I called and I could talk to you…but, she told me that the two of you had broken up instead.”

“Whatever,” Lexa said, shrugging her shoulders, blinking back the tears that were stinging her eyes.  “I get it, okay? I was being weak.  I’m fine now.  You can go.”

“Yeah, nice try,” Anya said, leaning her head back against the chair she was sitting in beside Lexa’s bed. “Wake me up when the doctor releases you.”

* * *

[proof seventeen – 1 BC]

Anya used her precious vacation time to take off of work and stayed with Lexa for two weeks.  She bought Lexa more groceries than could fit into her fridge, drug her to the gym every morning and staunchly refused to allow Lexa to buy any alcohol while she was there.  She did Lexa’s laundry without a word, took her to get a pedicure, and punched her in the shoulder anytime Lexa looked like she might cry. 

By the time she left, Lexa _almost_ felt like herself again.

* * *

[proof eighteen – 1 BC]

LOVE is a four-letter word.

So is WEAK. 

Therefore, by the transitive law of vocabulary:

To love is to be weak.


	2. Strangers on a Train

[proof one – 1 BC]

The building Lexa was living in was the nicest and newest of the school housing at Crew College.  All of the students who had requested to stay over the summer were moved in there so that maintenance and remodeling could be done on the other dormitories around campus during the three month break between school years. 

There was definitely a serial feel to the apartment that Lexa had been assigned, but she was just grateful to have a place to live that was air-conditioned and where no one would bother her. The best part, though, was that the cost was just added into her tuition with the rest of her room and board, so she could worrying about paying it off later along with the rest of her school loans.

As far as Lexa was concerned, heartbreak was embarrassing and the less she had to see people, the better.  After Anya left, she spent most of the summer holed up and nursing her fragile ego.  For once in her life she didn’t care that she wasn’t accomplishing anything at all other than watching the entire series of _Sex and the City_.  To be honest, she found the series fascinating.  It felt kind of like a National Geographic documentary and Lexa decided that straight women were a very strange breed indeed. 

It was the end of July before Lexa started to feel lonely and think maybe she should find some friends other than Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.

One Friday morning, Lexa came home from the gym to find that someone had written on all of the whiteboards that were fixed to wall outside of everyone’s apartment.  Someone in apartment 37 was having a party that night and had, apparently, invited the entire building.  It seemed a little desperate to Lexa, but, then again, she wasn’t in much of a place to judge.

If Lexa had been the subject of a HBO show, it would have been called _Masturbation in the College Town_ and it would have been very boring and consisted mostly of Lexa opening her fridge about once an hour and staring at its contents but not taking anything out before she closed it again, talking to the television with wonderment about straight people, and watching porn like clockwork every day at 9 pm and then getting herself off. 

Therefore, she decided, she should probably attend the party.

* * *

[proof  two – 1 BC]

Party Goals

-       be fun and casual

-       play a game if one is available

-       talk to at least ~~four~~ three people

-       laugh twice

-       go barefoot to achieve maximum carefree levels

-       leave hair down and curly

-       do not talk about geometry even when applicable to the conversation

* * *

 

[proof three – 1 BC]

As Lexa stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom, applying her signature eyeliner, she couldn’t help but wonder, what would she be walking into that night?  She had only been to a handful of parties in her time at college and the only thing she had enjoyed about any of them was the salacious dancing she got to do with Costia.

Lexa may have been an academic juggernaut, unwilling to compromise when it came to her studies, but she was also a 21 year old woman who loved having sex.  And she was very good at it.  She had suspicions that her skill in the bedroom was why Costia had stuck around as long as she had when it started to become obvious that they wanted very different things in life.  The only thing that worried Lexa was that she had never had sex with anyone other than Costia and perhaps she had fine tuned her techniques to her ex’s preferences to such a degree that when she finally did sleep with someone new, she’d have to start from square one, all over again.  Surely the general principles had to be transferable, though…

After finishing her makeup and giving herself a pep talk that involved a great deal of shoe shopping analogies considering she wasn’t wearing any, Lexa was ready to go. 

The problem was it was only 7 o’clock and the party didn’t start until 9. 

With nothing better to do, Lexa made herself a cosmopolitan, just to loosen her up a bit so she wouldn’t seem so stiff at the party, and put in Season 4, disc 3, and read over her list of party goals for the tenth time.

* * *

 

[proof four – 0 hour]

At 9 o’clock on the dot, Lexa knocked on the door of apartment 37 and tried to smile.  It hurt her face, though, so she just tried to look sort of neutral as the door swung open and revealed a very skinny, rather gaunt looking boy with brown, scraggly hair and too large a mouth for his face.

“Hey!” he greeted her with a broad smile.  

“Hello,” Lexa replied. “I’m here for the party.”

“Awesome, come on in!”  He stepped aside and flung an arm out, gesturing to the interior of the apartment. 

Lexa walked a few steps into the place and saw that there were already a few people there – two were sitting on the couch, and four were gathered around the kitchen table.  They all looked as if they had been there for a while already, so Lexa figured they were close friends of this gaunt child that had greeted her.

“So,” the pale boy said, getting Lexa’s attention again as she surveyed the scene.  “I’m Jasper, that’s my roommate Monty.”  He pointed out a dark-haired boy at the table who looked a great deal less sickly than Jasper, but a good deal more innocent. Lexa gave him a curt nod. 

“My name is Lexa. I live in apartment 19.” She stuck her hand out for the boy to shake, and he seemed more than happy to have an excuse to touch her. His hand was very sweaty, though, so Lexa removed her hand from his as quickly as possible and tried to nonchalantly wipe it off on the leg of her cut-off jean shorts.

Apparently, she was unsuccessful at going unnotived, because a blonde girl that was staring at her intensely said, “Hey Jas, why don’t you stop sweating on the pretty girl and introduce the rest of us?”

And then she winked at Lexa. 

Lexa tried to smile again. 

It didn’t work.

The girl cocked her head to the side as if she couldn’t quite figure out what Lexa was doing with her face. 

Thankfully, the sickly boy spoke again.

“Shut up, Clarke,” he said, blushing. “Okay, so, princess over here would be Clarke.” Clarke glared at Jasper.  “That’s Bellamy,” a broad-nosed, burly fellow waved at her good-naturedly. “This is Raven,” a slight, but gorgeous, dark-haired girl gave her some very seductive elevator eyes. “And Lincoln and Octavia are over on the couch, probably feeling each other up.” The two on the couch _were_ locked in a rather tight embrace, making out with no regard for who might be watching.

“Yeah, we don’t actually know them,” Raven said, in a snarky tone. “They just wandered in about an hour ago.  I think they’re just a couple of sex addicts who think this is a hotel room they’ve rented for the night.”

A beer can came flying into the kitchen from living room, and the girl on the couch said, “You know, green is a very unattractive color on you, Raven.”

“And you throw like a little bitch,” Raven retorted. “That didn’t even make it to the table!”

Lexa continued to stand awkwardly just inside the door until Bellamy said, “We’re playing Quarters, wanna join us?”

“Yes, alright,” Lexa answered and moved quickly to take one of the empty seats around the table that was beside Raven.

With her goals at the forefront of her mind, Lexa leaned back in what she hoped was a casual, easy sort of posture, with her fingers laced together across her stomach.  She was willing to try anything tonight to loosen up.

“Why don’t you take the next turn?” Bellamy grinned and handed a quarter to her. 

“Okay,” Lexa said, grabbing the quarter from him and feeling an immediate panic set in.  Her jaw tighten as she glanced around the table top, trying to figure out what the hell she was supposed to with this quarter when the only other things present were a smattering of shot glasses and a few bottles of alcohol. There wasn’t a game board or cards or anything.  What kind of game was this?

“Have you played this game before, Lexa?” Clarke asked, drawing Lexa’s eyes up to meet her own. 

“Of course I have,” Lexa lied, chuckling unconvincingly.  “It’s been awhile, however.  I’m just more a Yahtzee kind of girl.”

“Wild child, right here, folks,” Raven laughed.

“Well, let me refresh your memory,” Clarke said, smiling sweetly.  “Basically you just bounce the quarter on the table and try to get it into one of the shot glasses.  If you make it, you decide who takes the shot and then that person shoots the quarter. If you miss, the person on your left goes.”

“Really?” Lexa asked, a spark of excitement flaring up in her eyes that she quickly tried to stamp out.  “That’s easy! That’s just—“ the word geometry died on her lips as soon realized she had been about to slip into full math geek mode. She wasn’t going to do this tonight.  She was going to be cool.   

There was more to it than just geometry, of course. There was a good deal of physics involved as well.  She would have to get not only the angle correct, but the force right as well. Still, it wouldn’t be anymore difficult than pool, and Lexa was _amazing_ at pool.  Whenever Costia did talk her into going out to a bar, it was usually with the promise that they would go to the billiards hall downtown. 

Standing up quickly, Lexa leaned over so she could get a good aerial view of the table, mentally calculating the distance and angle of the nearest shot glass, taking into account the weight of the quarter and force she would need to apply.  Then she sat down, scooted her chair back slightly and lined up her shot. The quarter dinged against the tabletop once before it gracefully soared into the shot glass. 

“Maybe you have played this before,” Monty said, an impressed look on his face.

* * *

[proof five – 1 AD]

By 10 o’clock, more people had shown up at the party and Lexa was starting to feel small and extremely uncomfortable. She’d only had to do three shots, but that was good.  Lexa wanted to be fun, but not sloppy, especially when surrounded by so many strangers.

Jasper had already asked her for her phone number and assured her that she could come over any time she wanted to hang out. Apparently he didn’t have a job, either, though he seemed proud of this fact whereas Lexa was ashamed that she wasn’t doing _anything_ this summer.  Other than trying to figure out how to be a human being without Costia in her life, of course.

Clarke had been watching her very closely as they played and had given Lexa the shot every time her quarter landed in one of the glasses.  So, when Lexa excused herself from the table, she wasn’t all that surprised to see Clarke do the same, grabbing a bottle of tequila and a shot glass as she stood.

Lexa had only made it as far as the living room when Clarke came up next to her. 

“Come do a couple shots with me on the balcony,” she suggested.

Lexa nodded and followed her out on to the small balcony that opened off the living room. 

“So, Lexa,” Clarke started, leaning on the railing and facing her once Lexa had closed the balcony door behind them again, “where have you been all my life?”

“Excuse me?” Lexa asked, her voice cracking. She was not used to people hitting on her so blatantly as most of the people she had interacted with during her three years at college knew she was with Costia.

Clarke laughed easily and shook her head. “I just meant, I’ve never seen you around before.  And I mean, Crew isn’t _that_ large. I feel like I’ve seen most people in passing at least once or twice.”

“Oh, um, you know,” Lexa said, trying to match the ease Clarke was projecting.  “I had a girlfriend since freshman year and I just kind of stuck with the same crowd.  Since we broke up, though, I’m trying to branch out a bit.”

Clarke smiled.  “So you’re into women and you’re single,” she surmised with a smirk.  “Must be my lucky night.”

Okay, yes, definitely hitting on her now. _Be cool, Lexa_ , she told herself.

“Maybe it is,” Lexa said, being sure to look out over the balcony as she did so.  “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Fair enough,” Clarke said, her voice dropping a bit as she looked sideways at Lexa, biting her lip slightly. 

Lexa couldn’t help but smile.  She had forgotten how good it felt to be wanted.

“Damn,” Clarke whispered. 

“What?” Lexa asked, turning to face the girl again.

“Nothing,” Clarke muttered, clearing her throat. “You just have the kind of smile that people launch ships over.”

Lexa raised her eyebrow questioningly.

“Helen of Troy…the Trojan War….you know, the face that launched a thousand ships,” Clarke rambled.  “It was my subtle way of telling you that you’re gorgeous.”

“Oh,” Lexa said quietly, blushing. “You’re not so bad yourself, Clarke.”

Clarke scooted closer to Lexa, handing her the shot glass full of tequila, a very hungry look in her deep blue eyes. After Lexa had accepted it and throw it down her throat, Clarke took the tiny glass and refilled it, taking the shot herself this time.

“So, I have to ask,” Clarke said after her shot. “Why in the world aren’t you wearing any shoes?”

Lexa honest-to-god laughed, something she felt like she hadn’t done in years.

* * *

 

[proof six – 1 AD]

Over the next hour or so, Lexa learned quite a few things about Clarke. 

Her last name was Griffin; she was an art history major; she had just graduated, but did so a year early, so they were the same age; she was taking the next school year as a post-bac before she applied to grad schools; and she lived in an apartment off campus with Raven and Octavia.

Lexa had also discovered that Clarke was very good at subtly touching her—running her hand down Lexa’s arm when she laughed, leaning into her shoulder with the guise of hearing her better, and eventually, gently brushing her fingers through Lexa’s curls as she complimented her hair.

Lexa was drunk, to be sure.  So was Clarke. She was also beautiful with her blonde hair swept over her head and framing her face in the light from lampposts the dotted the parking lot below them.

Lexa had hardly thought about Costia since she and Clarke had come out onto the balcony.  She wanted that.  She wanted to keep not thinking about Costia.  She wanted to do something unexpected and unlike her, so she flirted back.

Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s hip as she took another shot.  She wiped a stray drop of tequila off the corner of Clarke’s lips.  When Clarke told her about the new perfume she had bought that day, she leaned in to her neck so she could smell it better.  She was bold and fearless and anything but weak. And she hadn’t talked about geometry once, not even when Clarke had asked what she was majoring in.

* * *

 

[proof seven – 1 AD]

“Hey ladies, sorry to disturb you,” Raven said, a knowing grin on her face as she leaned out onto the balcony.  “But it’s 12:30, princess.” Raven said this last part directly to Clarke with a very pointed look while holding out what looked like a small, blue cosmetic bag to Clarke.

“Mm, right,” Clarke said, extracting herself from Lexa, who had been tracing indistinct triangles on the small of her back just under her shirt.  “Thanks for reminding me, Ray.”

She grabbed the small bag and turned back to Lexa. “This’ll just take a minute. But, when I get back, do you wanna…go back to my place?  I’m kind of hungry.  I was thinking I might make some pasta or something if you wanted to join me.”

Lexa looked down at the small bag curiously, but figured it wasn’t any of her business.  She was also much more concerned with the way her stomach was twisting with anxiety at Clarke’s proposition.  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go back to her apartment with her. It was just that nothing like this had ever happened to Lexa before.  Other than with Costia, of course.

She met Clarke’s intense stare and nodded her, afraid her growing nerves would become apparent if she said anything just then. She didn’t want her voice to waver and Clarke to get the wrong idea.  She didn’t want to come off as anything other than completely confident and laid back. 

“Great,” Clarke said, “I’ll just be a minute.”

When she was gone, Raven smiled widely at Lexa. “If she puts on CrazySexyCool, you’re in.”

“What?” Lexa asked, the alcohol clouding her mind as she watched Clarke’s retreating figure.

“The TLC album. Clarke always puts it on when she wants to get laid,” Raven clarified, continuing to grin. 

“Noted,” Lexa muttered, turning beet red.

* * *

 

[proof eight – 1 AD]

As soon as Clarke had returned from the bathroom, the two had slipped out of Jasper and Monty’s apartment, mostly unnoticed.

 “Get it Clarke!” could be heard as the door swung shut, leaving them alone in the hall.  Lexa was pretty sure it was Octavia who had yelled it. 

“Sorry about that,” Clarke said, sliding her hand into Lexa’s as they headed down the hall and down the stairs.

“Are all your friends so supportive of your sex life?” Lexa commented without thinking about what she was implying. “I mean, uh…not that we…have to _do that.”_

“I’m down for whatever you’re comfortable doing, Lexa,” Clarke told her honestly as they left the building.  Biting her lip seductively, she continued. “But I was hoping I’d get to see you with your clothes off.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Lexa replied, trying to make it sound like this sort of thing happened to her all the time and she was as equally up for having sex with a stranger as Clarke seemed to be.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Lexa spoke again.  “Were you serious about the pasta, though? Because I’m famished.”

Clarke laughed.  It was a raspy chuckle that Lexa found to be extremely sexy. “Oh I was completely serious about the pasta. Can’t expect you to fuck me on an empty stomach, now can I?”

Lexa shivered.  Clarke was practically purring into Lexa’s ear at this point and she definitely had a thing for forward women.

* * *

 

[proof nine – 1 AD]

One bowl of spaghetti later, Clarke and Lexa were sitting side by side on the couch in Clarke’s living room. 

Lexa was starting to feel nervous again, and more than a little awkward, when Clarke stood up, saying, “Mind if I put some music on?”

Lexa shook her head and watched Clarke saunter over to the entertainment center where an iPod was docked in what looked to be a pretty impressive speaker system.  She had to bend over slightly as she scrolled through the music and Lexa stared longingly at her ass, wishing she had _any moves whatsoever_. 

Clarke definitely caught her as she turned around. “See something you like, Lex?”

Lexa nodded and gulped.

“You’re very—“ Lexa started, but lost her train of thought as she recognized the music Clarke had picked out.  A small chuckle came out of her mouth, but it was soon replaced with a cocky smile. 

“What are you laughing about?’ Clarke asked.

“Oh nothing,” Lexa smirked. “Raven just told me that you put on TLC when you want to get laid.”

“I’m going to fucking kill her,” Clarke sighed loudly, running a hand through her hair. “But I’m pretty sure you already knew I wanted to get laid.”

Lexa nodded again, never breaking eye contact with Clarke. 

The blonde moved to stand in front of her, staring down at Lexa lustfully. 

“Are you okay with all this?” Clarke asked, a desperate husk evident in her voice that made Lexa wet. 

“Yes,” Lexa said simply. 

That was all Clarke needed to hear, apparently, because she straddled Lexa immediately, and then pressed her lips against Lexa’s firmly until she started to respond, her mouth working eagerly to catch up with her shocked mind. 

* * *

 

[proof ten – 1 AD]

Clarke felt so good on top of her.  The weight of her body rocking suggestively on Lexa’s lap, her soft lips, the way she moaned when Lexa slipped her tongue into Clarke’s mouth.  It was all so good.

Clarke had her hands sunk into Lexa’s hair and she was tugging on it roughly, tilting the girl’s head back and kissing her deeply, letting her tongue explore Lexa’s mouth.  Lexa felt like she was in a dream, and she was just trying to keep up with Clarke.  Somewhere in the back of her mind, though, she remembered that tonight was a night for being bold, so Lexa moved her hands from where they had been not doing much of anything on Clarke’s hips, and slid them down onto her ass, groaning loudly as she did. 

Clarke laughed her raspy chuckle again and husked, “Ass girl, huh?” in her ear before moving to kiss and bite at Lexa’s neck.

Emboldened even further by Clarke’s obvious enjoyment, Lexa pulled her hands back slightly and slipped them inside of Clarke’s jeans and underwear, squeezing roughly at Clarke’s ass cheeks.  The action earned Lexa a moan and strangled, “oh fuck.”

Before Lexa had even registered what was happening, Clarke had pulled back and yanked her shirt off, sending it flying somewhere onto the floor.  Then she unhooked her bra, pulled it down off of her arms and tossed it aside as well. She slid her hands back into Lexa’s hair after that and pulled her head into her chest.

“Suck on my tits, Lexa,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa felt a gush of wetness between her legs as she opened her mouth and did what Clarke had told her to do, sucking a hard nipple into her mouth as Clarke continued to grind down onto her lap. She licked and sucked and bit at Clarke’s breasts moving back and forth between the two, growing wetter and more frustrated as with every moment.

Finally Clarke stood up, pulling Lexa with her. “Bedroom?” she asked.

“God, yes,” Lexa moaned. 

Clarke surged forward again, attaching her lips to Lexa’s once more as she started to back her slowly out of the living room and down the hallway, pulling Lexa’s shirt off as they went.  Lexa took care of her bra herself just as they reached Clarke’s bedroom door. 

Clarke pushed her roughly against the wall just outside, wasting no time cupping Lexa’s breasts and rolling her nipples between her thumbs and fingers, tugging at the buds, while Lexa did the same to her.

The sound of the front door opening caught their attention and they both turned their heads toward the voices of Raven and Octavia for just a moment before Clarke pulled Lexa into her room and kicked the door closed behind them. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm no mathematician. I'm just a writer who wanted to tell a story in a little bit of a different way and I felt that geometric thinking lends itself well to Lexa's character. So, I thoroughly apologize to any math whizzes out there that I have offended with my obvious lack of knowledge.  
> For what it's worth, though, I really did love geometry when I took it in high school. 
> 
> Wanna hang out and talk about life things and fic things? You can find me @ tumblr. I'm theyoungcunt.


End file.
